Living with mental health issues

Mental health issues surround us constantly in everyday life, in many different ways and affecting many different people. These days, it can be regarded as a taboo topic. It’s not an issue that is spoken about a lot which I think can be hazardous to our younger generation. I personally believe it’s beneficial for younger children to be taught about mental health and its different forms as at one point in their life, they’ll come across it. I have a personal experience to share concerning depression, eating issues and self esteem issues and it’s my goal to allow others to be inspired and open up about their own issues that they have had, or currently have and encourage them to get help.

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I first had self esteem issues when I was around 11/12 years old and just starting high school. I first experienced mood issues when I was around 16 years old and that’s when it started affecting my day to day life. Ironically, it started when I made my New Year’s resolutions. I planned to go to the gym 5/6 times a week, eat 100% clean and aim to have the body of a supermodel by the following year. For the first few months, I stuck to it. People were commenting on how I’d lost weight and it felt great that people noticed. What they didn’t know, was that I was overworking myself to the point of exhaustion. I didn’t see the problem with it at first, I was seeing the results that I wanted. After a while, it became impossible to keep up. I’d set my expectations of myself too high and when I couldn’t meet them, I’d be angry at myself and work ten times harder to make up for it. I started resenting how I looked and after 5/6 months, I gave up all together. I’d say this is when my depression got bad. I had gone from exercising and healthy eating 24/7 to lying in bed all day eating junk food. No matter how wrong I knew it was, I didn’t have the motivation or the energy to do anything about it. I was stuck in a rut.

Depression is like a dark cloud. It sucks all of your energy, emotion, drive and motivation out of you. It’s extremely frustrating and because I didn’t know how to deal with it properly, I turned to unhealthy habits to try and compensate. I’d sometimes binge, I’d sometimes starve myself and I just totally hated being me. This is where my eating issues arose from too. I’d switch between eating 100% healthy, to 100% rubbish, to far too much at the one time or nothing at all. I was unhappy with my weight and the way I looked and at that time, I thought skinny equaled happy.

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My mum is the most amazing person in my life. When I finally plucked up the courage to tell her everything, she was 100% supportive and loving. We arranged for me to see a therapist, as I didn’t want to start taking pills. My therapist was lovely and I have to admit, she helped me a lot. Although after a while, I felt that I no longer needed to see her and that I was in charge of the outcome. I was in charge of how I felt and what I did. There were some big transitions in my life. I moved away from home to a new flat in the city. I started university and I finally had the chance to make my life better. I can’t say that there’s one specific thing that helped me and I also can’t say that I’m 100% better because there are still some days that I struggle and don’t want to leave my bed.

The most important thing to me, is the people that surround me. I now have a pretty small circle, I no longer have friends that don’t value me or want the best for me. I have incredible family and I’ve met the most amazing friends when I moved to the city. I started practicing yoga and Pilates, I discovered the wonderful benefits of meditation and I still to this day, continue to grow spiritually. Angels play a big part in my life, I believe they protect and guide me every day. I trust the universe. I trust that everything happens for a reason and at the perfect time, in the perfect place. I love working with my crystals and I LOVE sharing the love with people on Instagram. I have never met such positive, inspirational and supportive people in all my life. I am constantly amazed at their unconditional love and kindness and I know I always have somewhere to turn.

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For now, I’m just looking to the future. I have an amazing job, an amazing flat, a place at an amazing university and I couldn’t ask for better people in my life. I want to share my story with as many people as possible because I want people to know that it’s okay to show weakness and that things DO get better. We all have the power within us to change our lives and alongside the universe and the angels, we get to create our future.

Namaste!

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